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"Fiction is not necessarily about what you know, it's about how you feel." - Margaret Atwood

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Way Down by the River

6/27/2017

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by Anastasia Barbato
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 Ah, New Orleans. Whether you're waltzing through Jackson Square or dining in one of the hundreds of delectable eateries the city has to offer, your ears are never too starved for sound. The music of the city hangs as heavy and tangible as the humid air during summertime, when the streets are sunny with passerby and the spicy, tangy smells mingle with the hearty thrum of a tuba or the whistling staccato of a trumpet. As a resident told me, it feels like you're living with the city rather than in it, because the city is alive with history and effervescent with youth and progress.

I had the privilege of taking a literature course in this wonderful city for the entire month of May with the University of Southern California. We read literature that was written about New Orleans and its surrounding areas, analyzing the landscape we were exploring through the different perspectives of the authors and fictional characters; this kind of reading experience, titled "bookpacking", is a concept created by our leader of the trip, Andrew Chater, a producer for the BBC. 

The trip itself was unique. Me and seven other USC students piled into our oversized, black Mercedes van with Andrew and took off for some location we had read about, taking photos and trying to spot alligators along the way. We attended a local potluck and jam session with some Cajun locals of Lafayette, and walked through the towering graves of the St. Louis Cemetery. In the short amount of time we were there, I absorbed so much of the culture and ambiance of the city than I would have if I had just come for a weekend to party on Bourbon Street. We even witnessed the historical event of the removal of the Robert E. Lee statue from Lee Circle and the political aftermath surrounding it. A more in-depth log of my travels can be found here, alongside the seven other USC students who came with me.

To me, this trip encompassed everything that I love about traveling, reading, and writing. Because of the books I read, I got to see so much more of what New Orleans holds underneath its jubilant surface; because of the sights I saw, I became inspired to write about its history and the tangible feelings of nostalgic wonder that overcame my senses. The company I held, my fellow eccentric English majors, was so imaginative and thoughtful that exploring the city with them was an adventure every moment. What I learned on this trip was that (of course) I want to keep traveling to different places, but to also pay attention to the lives of the people who live there, to put down my phone or camera for a moment and really see where I am. This trip taught me that travel can be completely immersive, both physically and mentally, and that this is the way travel should be experienced. 

Overall, New Orleans was - and is - unforgettable. I definitely have to go back now, especially to visit all of my favorite restaurants down there again. Yum. For those of you who may want recommendations of places to eat or things to see while you're down south, please feel free to shoot me an email or comment below.

Until next time. Au revoir.
Sincerely,
Stasi

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Where would you rather be?

3/22/2017

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by Anastasia Barbato
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The darkness was banished to the outer corners of the backyard of the house, and colorful lights hummed with the bass notes pounding from massive speakers. Drinks slipped into hands and sloshed out of cups, and the pulse of moving bodies dancing through the cigarette and vape smoke made my heart pound with anticipation. So this was the party scene I was told about. It was like stepping onto the set of a stereotypical teen movie, where the protagonists made bad decisions that shaped their stories. Was I really ready to jump into this?

I didn't really party in high school. My friend group fell on the 'nerd' spectrum, and not the mainstream kind that pop culture has appropriated. Instead of going out and taking risks, I would go to the beach or stay in with my friends for triple sleepovers where the hardest alcohol in the house was reserved for the medicine cabinet.

College has been a different experience. I've gone to parties where most of the people aren't interested in getting to know each other past the point of who was going to give them booze or a hit. The most striking thing I noticed, however, was the amount of people eager to make out with each other, or the amount of strangers kissing and stumbling away from the party early together. This was a whole new ballgame for me; I'd only dated two guys over the long term in high school, and this 'one night stand', 'hookup' thing was completely foreign to me. Little did I know that this hookup phenomenon extended its invasive tendrils into the crevices surrounding all of my relationships at university.

Recently, I attended a seminar discussing the book American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus, where the author Lisa Wade gave a brief overview of the phenomenon I was witnessing in my everyday life. According to her research, the so-called 'hookup culture' seen so often on college campuses in America today has evolved since the beginning of the 20th century. Due to certain economic influences and social trends, the concept of hooking up instead of having meaningful interactions has become a dominant cultural constraint on social behaviors of college-aged young people today. 

'Culture' itself is defined as 'the attitudes and behaviors characteristic of a social group', or as Wade put it during the seminar, a 'collective idea' that something should 'be a certain way', or an ideal that 'everyone' should aspire to. In the case of casual sexual encounters - known as 'hookups' that can range from making out to having sex - the culture dictates that the BEST encounter involves the LEAST amount of emotion and meaning. For example, the best hookup is one where people can have a sexual encounter and leave without any worry about commitment or romantic finesse. This sounds, at its barest, practical for the average college student of America, who is struggling to stay afloat in the shrinking middle-class; there's an expectation, a desire, to be fully settled in their careers and home life before letting someone else into the picture.

However, the culture places so much emphasis on meaningless interactions that, suddenly, every small interaction becomes packed with meaning. "Oh, you hooked up with someone and now you're holding hands? You must be in a relationship," says hookup culture. This creates a pressure on those who don't like to hook up to conform, or to feel insecure about wanting something more than a lustful encounter with a stranger. Where cultural movements of days past have looked on the act of having multiple sexual partners as 'slutty', hookup culture protests against that image with the idea that anyone who DOESN'T want multiple partners is 'desperate' for a committed relationship. Trying to be human and meet the standards of these opposite expectations would make anyone's head spin.

What really struck me the most about Lisa Wade's talk was the idea of communication. Hookup culture thrives on the least amount of communication needed to make something happen, which can lead to confusion and mixed expectations for those people involved. The games hookup culture encourages - such as ignoring or even being mean to the person you hooked up with right after the deed as a way to establish meaninglessness - leads to feelings of worthlessness and unfulfillment.

Obviously this isn't the case for everyone; according to Wade's research, about 10-12% of the population thrives within hookup culture. Still, that statistic rides beside the 70% of women and 73% of men on college campuses who DO want more than just a hookup.

If so many people feel this way, then why aren't more of them speaking out about what they want?

This ties back to the idea of appearing 'desperate'. It takes guts to tell someone how you really feel, especially if the action of expressing your feelings is looked down upon by the culture you inhabit. However, communication is the most powerful way to fight against the expectations of hookup culture. As Wade put it, we humans are "bags of chemistry"; it's impossible for us to not feel SOME emotion when interacting sexually with someone, whether good or bad. Therefore, the expectation of hookup culture to have NO emotion AT ALL is hard to meet on a regular, long-term basis for a lot of young people.

This is why communication is important. It's far easier to establish a relationship of any sort with another person if you communicate exactly what you want out of it - whether you just want a sexual relationship, something more, or something in between. The key is that everyone has different desires, and communicating these desires breaks the label of 'desperate' and makes you more human and approachable.

What's reassuring, though, is that cultural expectations can change. They're literally 'all in our heads'; cultural norms are what we make them to be, and by shifting perceptions of what is desired, a greater acceptance of vulnerability can be achieved. 

Relationships with people are hard to begin with. Add affection to the mix, and suddenly life gets a lot more complicated. If we as humans can accept the ways in which we love one another - whether that means having multiple partners, one partner, or none at all - then the tension created by societal pressures will lift. 

Besides. What's more fun than being cared for the way you want to be?

Sincerely,
Stasi
​

P.S. Here are some inspirational, relatable quotes by Chandler from Friends.
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What to expect from your first semester

1/1/2017

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by Anastasia Barbato
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University of Southern California
Take a good, long look at your first semester of college, because there's no doubt that it'll fly by in the same amount of time it took you to read this sentence.

I remember move-in day like it was yesterday: unpacking my stuff, chatting with my roommate's family, and partying out on the lawn with my new suitemates as we celebrated our first night on our own. Welcome Week afterward was, ironically, the equivalent of summer camp; now that we're 'adults', we could stay out late and eat as much junk food as we wanted, living it up before our education came back to remind us why we were here in the first place.

​The first four months of my college experience felt like a lifetime, yet also no time at all. I live in an eight-person suite, four rooms of two people with two private bathrooms and a small common area. I'm lucky enough to be great friends with my suitemates and my incredible roommate, who have helped me find my footing in our new environment. Together, along with friends from other parts of our residential building, we strike a balance among partying, going on day trips, and studying, which have knit us together as a pretty solid squad.

Here are a few things that I've learned:

#1: Independence is sweet
As the weeks went by, I began to think of myself as an independent adult. The feeling was brought on by the biggest difference I've noticed between college and high school: the amount of freedom college gives me. My suitemates and I can decide one evening to go out together without worrying about asking our parent's permission or keeping curfew. This freedom has led to mild evening dinners and late night adventures through the sketchier parts of town, but most of all it has taught me that I am responsible for myself completely - for better or for worse.

Alongside this, it's taught me that I'm ready to be responsible for myself; that I can do my own laundry, make my own schedule, and have my own fun without needing someone to hold my hand through it all. I'm young and ready to explore the world, and now I've been given the opportunity to do that.

#2 - Easier than A, B, C
All of the rumors about college being easier than high school are true. Not only do I get to choose my classes and when I take them (unless they fill up quickly - register early!), but the classes themselves are ones that I'm interested in. From my university experience, it's been refreshing to learn in classrooms filled with students who actually care about their education (or at least act like they do to keep their parents paying their tuition). I love to learn, and I'm enjoying choosing classes that interest me versus suffering through Pre-Calculus for an hour every day in high school. 

With only a few classes per day and classes taken every other day, this leaves a lot of free time. I found that the best use for this time could be exercise, homework, or even sleep. Finding ways to keep myself productive, yet also to give myself personal time, was the key to balancing the new workload and the new experiences.

That isn't to say I made the perfect use of my time at first, however. The worst experience I had with homework this semester was having two 6-8 page essays and a midterm exam due over the same weekend, and since I hadn't worked on the essays that much over the week, I ended up having to write both of them the day before they were due - with a head cold pounding against my skull the whole time.

I powered through and passed all of the assignments, but the experience of stress over that weekend was enough for me to change my ways. I decided to start planning my essays ahead of time and working on any assignment way before the deadline, so that if a pileup ever happens again I can relax and know that I can finish on time.

#3 - Activity is key
The social scene on a college campus has its differences from high school, as well; mostly in the realm of lots of young people having lots of freedom and who are eager to have new experiences. This has led me to have some crazy, sitcom-like adventures with my friends that I could never imagine having in high school, and they've been rewarding and frustrating at various moments. However, I wouldn't trade any of my adventures in this first semester for anything; I've learned so many lessons about myself and met so many great people, and I'm incredibly grateful. While I was lucky enough to be friends with the people in my general vicinity, I'm eager to explore what clubs and organizations my university has to offer for me to connect with even more people on campus and contribute in future years.

#4 - There's no place like home
I've had the advantage of going to school in my home city, but I've seen how homesick my friends have gotten being so far from the familiar feeling of home. Even though I got to see my parents at least once a month, I still longed for a warm hug from my mom when I felt under the weather or overwhelmed, especially when I knew I couldn't see her. That feeling must be compounded for people coming from out of state, which is why I think it's important to surround yourself with good friends and find a support system - such as free therapy from your school's health center or a trusted professor - to help guide you through the painful moments. The transition to adulthood is hard, and coupled with the added pressures of higher education, it can be downright unbearable sometimes.

But you are not alone. More than likely, you're entire building is made up of freshman just like you who don't know what they're doing and are looking for friends. Reach out to your school community and find people who share your passions, and pretty soon you'll feel right at home.

#5 - Overall, it's fantastic
I know it sounds cliché, but college is unlike any other life experience you'll ever have. It's a healthy combination of independence, fear, and responsibility, followed by a (not always) welcome dose of reality. I've realized it's a time for me to find myself, a time to figure out how I might attempt to navigate the rest of my life, and a time to let loose and enjoy my youth while I can.

On this first day of the new year, I'm prepared to start my second semester with as much grace and grit as I can muster, conquering it and hopefully learning a secret or two about how to survive the rest of college. Staying positive and keeping on task with assignments is key, but don't forget to explore everything you're college has to offer. You're only there for four years, after all, and look how fast high school went by!

Sincerely,
​Stasi

P.S. Here's a helpful link I found to an article that describes 25 tips to assist with freshman year of college, written by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D. I can attest to all of these tips as helpful to my college experience so far.

Have a memorable college experience and/or helpful tip for incoming freshman? Leave a comment below!

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    Anastasia

    call me Stasi.

    foodie, feminist, 
    novelist, nerd

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